I'm dropping out, or taking time off, depending how you want to interpret the news. I wish I could just give a press conference and have the whole world know why and be done with it. I've had to explain my reasoning so many times to so many people that I'm sick of it. So this is the next best thing.
I'm not going back to school for many reasons:
- I'm not sure what I want to do. I don't know what career I want. Sure, many college students don't, but I don't even know what field I want to go into. Sign language? Child care? Photography? Some combination of all of them? I don't know. But I do want to find out, and I think the best way to do that is to actually go out into the world and work in those fields and see how I take to it.
- I'm not crazy about my major. I started out as a photojournalism major and after several classes discovered I didn't want to be a journalist. So after much painful deliberation, I change to Early Childhood Education this semester. Sure, I like my classes, but I'm not passionate about them. So why continue to pursue something I'm only so-so on?
- I'm only bringing in a meager amount of scholarships, so most of my education is being covered by student loans. I refuse to spend thousands each year on an education I'm not sure about. Not when I could be making money and figuring things out.
- I feel like I'm at the end of my rope at WKU. I've taken most of the classes I would be interested in and I really am not looking forward to any classes that lay ahead of me. I want to branch out and experience more, and I feel like it's not going to happen here.
- I want to try something new. I want to get out, see new places, meet new people, and challenge myself. I want to be more independent and in control of my life.
So what's next? What am I going to do? The dream right now is to move to Atlanta. Well, not Atlanta exactly. More like the suburbs around Atlanta, because I'm not at all comfortable with living in a big city, not after all my sheltered years on army bases and the semi-country. I picked Atlanta because I don't want to go back home. That would do nothing for my independence. And while I know I can make a good living for myself in Bowling Green, I don't want to stay here either. I think it would feel too much like college. I'd be hanging out with the same people, going to the same parties, going to my same hangouts, etc. Sure, I wouldn't have class and would be working more, but I don't think that's enough of a change for me to feel satisfied. Bowling Green is just too comfortable, and I've played things safe my whole life. So I chose Atlanta because I know some really amazing people out there and it's not so far from home that I would need to buy a plane ticket to visit. Atlanta is looking like a great choice. I'll have a support system and circle of friends when I get there, my opportunities are more varied, and it's warmer weather!
Everything's still in the planning phase, so I'm not sure if Atlanta will be a reality. It is more expensive than Bowling Green, and I'd have to secure a job and place to stay before moving. But I'll be damned if I don't try my hardest to make it happen. For now I'm looking up affordable apartments, stalking Craigslist for potential jobs, and looking for summer work to generate some money.
I'm really excited about this decision. My mind is reeling with all the new opportunities and experiences open to me. There's a lot of planning going on. I've been dreaming a bit about what I'll do when I get there. No doubt it will be hard, but it makes the payoff all the more sweet. I'll update as things progress.